Shining A Light On The Green-Eyed Monster: Jealousy And How To Make It Go Away

Jealousy is often referred to as the "green-eyed monster." While short flashes of jealousy are normal emotional responses to other things people do, say, and have, jealousy can quickly turn into something very ugly, bordering on major psychiatric illness. If you feel like jealousy is getting the better of you, maybe you need jealousy therapy. It may just be cognitive therapy, but it is very effective at pulling you back from the brink of doing something awful or unpleasant. Here is how to make the "green-eyed monster" go away.

Getting to the Root Cause of the Jealousy

First and foremost, it is not enough to recognize that you are jealous of someone. You have to understand precisely why. Does this person represent what you had hoped to be, have, or become by this point in your life? Maybe this person represents someone else you despise and you are transferring that hate in the form of jealousy to this other person because the person you despise seemingly has it all too? Being jealous or envious goes much deeper sometimes than just a fleeting surface feeling, and your therapist can help you figure out what that is.

Why Should You Be Jealous at All?

Next, you should examine why you should be jealous of this person at all. If he or she has financial success, at what cost did they achieve it? It is important to take a closer look at the trade-offs that this person made in order to get or do what they have accomplished. If you had made the same choices, is it reasonable to expect that you would have same or similar results and nice things as the person of whom you are jealous? Taking stock in your choices in life versus the choices this other person made really puts things in perspective.

Could You Afford Some Nice Things Once in a While?

If you are jealous of the things someone has, could you buy yourself something nice once in a while? If you can afford a luxury item once a year, without avoiding your responsibilities to yourself and others, would you buy it? If the answer is "yes" to all of these questions, then why are you jealous?

Buy something you have always wanted, and the jealousy could very well dissipate. If you answer "no" to buying one nice thing for yourself every year, then being jealous of others is also equally irrational since it is you who decides not to buy nice things. Once you look at your pangs of jealousy in all of the above ways, you can begin to realize how silly it is, and move toward making better, more rational, and happier decisions.